It feels like a dream...

It feels like I'm living in a dream... I feel like, at any minute, I could snap out of it and wake up. I really didn't think I would get pregnant this cycle. I was ovulating around the time that I had my MRI with the Versed (a drug to relax me because MRIs scare the poo out of me). I didn't think I would get pregnant and I hope that didn't somehow hurt the baby.

I'm gonna try to do everything right this time... not eat anything "bad", take my vitamins every single day, get plenty of rest, drink lots of water, etc. I know these are small potatoes and probably won't amount to much, but I just want to make SURE that I do everything I can.

This pregnancy feels so weird...it almost doesn't even feel real. I didn't (preg) test yesterday because I thought I was pregnant (because I really didn't think I was), I tested because I have a testing obsession!! Every month I waste probably 6 or 7 pregnancy tests because I just *know* I'm totally pregnant....but I'm not. But on the months where I just *know* I'm not pregnant...that's when I'm actually pregnant. It has happened that way every single pregnancy!

I don't have any real symptoms yet. I won't even be 4 weeks until at least tomorrow. I have had a little bit sore boobs, some heartburn, and a lot of tiredness, but not a whole lot else.

I don't really have any hope (of having a baby) left. I mean, after having had 4 miscarriages (3 of which have been in 2008), can you really blame me?

So since you're reading this...will you have hope for me?