It's Definitely Difficult

I have to say that being pregnant is not as easy as I thought it would be. Why didn't anyone tell me this?! I've been completely miserable almost since I found out [that I was pregnant] a couple of months ago. I know that every pregnancy and every woman is different, so hopefully my next pregnancy won't be as difficult.

At first, I was very very exhausted ALL of the time. I was constantly taking naps, going to bed early, waking up late, and still being tired. That seems to have almost subsided now that I'm 11 1/2 weeks (thank God!) I still get tired, but it's not nearly as bad as it used to be.

The part that is getting to me now is the queasiness. It's just been one big fat queasy party right after the other, ever since I first found out I was pregnant. I wake up in the morning feeling a bit queasy and very hungry. If I don't immediately get something to eat, I go from "a bit queasy" to "excessively queasy". The problem right now is that I can't seem to find anything that I like to eat (that actually likes me). I'll go to restaurants with Daryl and order something, take a bite of it, and then figure out that , if I eat anymore, it is going to make me barf - so I spit the food out in a napkin (which is very lady-like, and I'm totally proud of myself for doing so). I also find myself scrounging around the kitchen for something to eat, and when I find it, it's usually very small - applesauce, saltines, graham crackers - and it helps to eat them, but only for about 10 minutes until my stomach starts growling again, thus helllllo queasy-time! It's a vicious, never-ending cycle. I don't think that even one day has passed that I have not been queasy. It has made for quite the miserable 2 months!!

On top of that, my allergies have been going completely haywire. I usually take allergy shots (they were a gift from heaven), but I stopped taking them around my 4th pregnancy (didn't want to risk hurting any of the babies, even though my allergy doctor assured me they were find) - and I have paid dearly for that! Now my allergies are completely kicking my butt, all of the time, everyday. Not a day has gone by that I don't sneeze about 100 times (I wish that were a joke or exaggeration!) Then I get a forever stuffy nose that refuses to go away. I even bought a $60 humidifier for my room, hoping that would help...and it so far has, ever so slightly, but not really enough to make a difference. I am currently addicted to that nose spray that I believe comes directly from the pit of hell - Phenylephrine HCL. But my mom tells me I came out of the womb with a stuffy nose, so I think, unfortunately, my stuffy nose is destined to follow me from the day that I was born until the day that I die. (However, it's usually not this bad!)

The queasiness and the stuffy nose are killing me! I am now consumed by envy of women who have terribly easy pregnancies.

Other (super fun) factors, such as peeing ALL of the time and having sore breasts, will probably get worse as the pregnancy progresses, but I don't hardly even notice them anymore, they've just become a part of my life. And the most fun part is crying about anything and everything. I cry while watching TV commercials, while watching TV shows, even while watching a calf and cow interact, and the list is endless! If you look at me wrong, I'm probably going to cry. Haha! Although I sometimes feel like a big dumbdumb, I can handle the crying part too.

Suffice it to say, I feel like this pregnancy has been quite rough on me. I'm not trying to complain (or maybe I am?), just stating the facts. I love this baby more than almost anything in the world and I get more and more excited about him/her every day. I don't know if there's anything in the world like the "1st" baby! (Not that I have forgotten any of my other babies, but I think you know what I am talking about.) Now that I'm almost to 12 weeks, I am begining to think this pregnancy might actually morph into a real live baby! I've guarded myself so intensely on becoming excited about it because I was so afraid of getting hurt. But now, after 4 ultrasounds, seeing the precious heartbeat 3 different times, and seeing him/her actually moving around in my womb, I'm head over heels in love and completely attached. So... THANK YOU to those who have been praying for me, and PLEASE keep on praying that our little miracle continues to grow and be healthy. (My next appointment is January 28th, BTW)